Welcome back to a wonderful New Year at school. I hope it was a happy break for you all. Welcome to all new students, parents and carers into our MSS family. I see beautiful smiles and wonderful manners everywhere I go. It has been truly heart-warming to interact with students this first week, both returning and new.
I am sure at times during this break, you will have noted how your child manages their frustration. I noted my own response when my flight to see my mother was cancelled and it has made me reflect upon how I, personally, my family and our children at school demonstrate their ability to cope in when situations are not as we would like.
Frustration is an emotional response to stress. Some children present physically to include banging doors, kicking, anger; others may demonstrate tantrums that are not common at their age, an inability to handle criticism or cry more easily.
How do we as parents help?
Being responsive and not reactive (even we our internal barometers are dictating otherwise) through listening fosters development of secure attachments and consequently, due to feeling safe helps with emotional self-regulation (Morris et al., 2007). Pause before you speak, let them experience frustration before applying remedies.
Emotional regulation is a learnt skill (Feldman, 2009). We need to help them through demonstrating we understand our child using words, body language and facial expressions that mirror the emotion but in a calm controlled way e.g. frown and state 'You are frustrated because you have to go to bed.'
Ensure you have routine and boundaries in place. While children require some freedoms, research tells us children thrive when they know what to expect. Stay firm with bedtimes and other home practices and don't be afraid to say 'no.'
- Do delay gratification. 'Yes you can do that, once you have….cleared the table, brushed your teeth…'
- Teach coping skills – deep breathing, muscle relaxation. There are many tools on the internet to help.
- Play tolerance-building games e.g. Snakes and Ladders, or games where people have to work together to win. Learning to lose is an important part of life.
- Being proactive. Be prepared when you know you have to deliver disappointing news to your child. Teach them how to find solutions. Talk to them about situations when you have needed to solve frustrating problems.
- Be conscious of timing – is it worse at teatime? Are they hungry?
- Revisit and discuss their emotions when they are calm.
- If you are struggling, remember our Mareeba State School motto 'It takes a village to raise a child' (African Proverb, n.d.).
There are numerous resources in Mareeba to help you. Please reach out to myself or our School Social Worker, Tina Taylor for ideas and directions.
Parentline is available as a confidential free support service. 1300 30 1300. 8am-10pm 7 days week. There is no situation or question that is too basic. https://parentline.com.au/
With best wishes for a fabulous 2023,
Wendy Harris-Gallichan, Guidance Officer